Today marks 5 months spent here. I have made it a point to add in a monthly blog post about who knows what when I hit a new month of penthouse lovin. Today what came to mind was to celebrate 5 months with the top 5 worst things in the world. What are they you ask? Well here they are: 5. When you have to leave a movie theatre to pee during a really good movie. 4. When you order your favorite food to bring home and when you get home you have the wrong order. 3. Red Sox fans. 2. Living in a hospital for 5 months. 1. When you’re all excited your favorite show is on that night and you turn it on to only realize it’s a repeat…a freakin repeat! Now some of you out there might be outraged at what I say are the 5 worst things in the world…yes the whole entire world and to you I say deal with it. Now let’s break this down number by number. Number 5: I remember watching the final Harry Potter flick, a movie that was the culmination of my childhood. I did everything I could to hold in that urine that was trying to escape like Morgan Freeman from the Shawshank Redemption, but like Freeman the urine won and I was forced to exit. During this exit I missed Neville killing Voldemort’s evil snake, Nagini if you will, for all your Potter dorks out there like me. The devastation was unbearable and so this easily made the list. Number 4: Well let’s just go with something that occurred recently. Dad orders me queensland chicken n shrimp from Outback and gets here to present me with a salad…you don’t get Outback for a salad!! So considering this occurred alongside number 2 you can see why this quickly made the list. Number 3: Self-explanatory. Number 2: The reason for this blog post. 5 damn months inside an ICU. So instead of telling you why it is the second worst thing in the world which would take 37 pages I will tell you why it’s not number 1. There are a few things keeping it from that top spot. They are: sleeping till 11:30 every day, now that I no longer eat hospital food I get the best food ever brought to me, going number 2 in my bedroom and that being not only allowed but also expected of me, and the final kicker I now have a pet hawk. If at any point in life you’re doing something, say dying of hunger, but you have a pet hawk it cannot be the worst thing in the world. Think about it, you could be dying of hunger without a pet hawk. And lastly Number 1: Think about your favorite show in the entire world, now think about spending a day where all you looked forward to was seeing that show, and now think about turning on that show and it was an episode you had just seen a couple weeks back. Everything falls apart right then and there. Your whole world comes crumbling down because you were on an ultimate high all day for the sole purpose of that show and it was all taken in an instant. It’s kind of like betting on a horse and that horse is winning the whole race until inches from the finish line it decides to stop, and look right at you and flip you off, however that occurs using a hoof. Now if that doesn’t make you realize that it’s the worst thing in the world I don’t know what will. So there you have it the 5 worst things in the world. If you were having trouble in your life deciding what they were well…you’re welcome!
On another note obviously I am still here, still waiting, still going potty in my bedroom not a bathroom, and still watching my hawk fly outside my window. Soon enough the blog post I really want to write will be coming. Today not only marks 5 months but also my wonderful parent’s wedding anniversary. So Happy Anniversary to them and may they have many, many more!! Love you both, and you can all love them too because their marriage made this blog possible. Also just in case you weren’t aware I really don’t think those things are the worst things in the world, but you must admit they sure are pretty bad.