Tales From the 10th Floor

My way to pass the time here in the penthouse.

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Life is what you make it.

I believe whole heartedly that only a few things in this world can hit with such an out of body experience as a heart transplant can. In medical scenario it is quite simple of a surgery, big pieces being put back together. However, it is what surrounds such a thing that brings it to that level. Call me bias but yea you bet I feel there is more behind the transplantation of a heart than a liver or lungs or kidneys. Are those nothing? No those are huge, as is the passing of any organ from one human to another, but this is another level and in my talks with transplant families that gave up organs they feel the same way. What surrounds the idea of the heart is something mythical in a way with the way it is seen to embody love and emotion; all things that I have mentioned are quite clearly in my brain because I woke up the exact same person just with a different ticker. But still whatever it is there is that little something different, that little something more that makes it a bit bigger of a deal. I was given an amazing gift. It seems to have been said from whom I received it but because there is a natural process on how that news gets received I will wait to make my personal connection on that level, but regardless am so, so thankful for the decision that person/family made to be donors. Nothing made it more serious as to when I was told my heart was beating very poorly when taken from my body. It was something I needed and got, at what turned out to be as good as time as any would have ever been. I have had a week now to sit back and take back in the past 6 months of penthouse living and the things that got me through my time here. This may get long but the first things that occurred was a reflection on those that got me through this. There is first and foremost my family. They are my bloodline and there every step of the way. Countless visits and large amounts of food brought to me and each member with their own personal role. My dad to come talk sports. My younger sister to come make me laugh. My older sister to be the protective caring older sister. And of course my mother. Her job was to be my mother. Take my wrath and accept it and in return send love instead. Make my food and do my laundry no questions asked. Each one of my family members did their job perfectly and made me last 6 months as if it was nothing. Till the day I die I can look back on this time and know it all started with family and we sure do got one of the best and that is why I am the confident eager person I am now ready to keep trucking forward. Next are the friends and family and insane support I have gotten. Did I help myself a little by writing a sweet blog and reaching out to others, you bet, but the support was endless, huge, and needed. From the closest friends visits, to friendships that grew bigger during my time here I was surrounded by true greatness every step of the way. Something that continues now with families helping at my home, and the random act of kindness of being given a bed because I blogged about wanting one. I have been truly blessed and that’s coming from someone who didn’t always think that way. Of course a special thank you to my girlfriend. She deserves her credit as she managed to travel time and time again from PA via train, bus, car, whatever it took to stand by me at a time where it would have been so easy to leave.
6 months in a hospital though and that’s just crazy and no matter how I roll the dice my ultimate thanks falls on those that I spent the most time with: the staff. They didn’t have to be there for me the way they were; they weren’t longtime friends and family or any of that but you would have never known the difference. To form a bond under the circumstances we did is unlike anything I could ever explain. For the rest of my life I will cry remembering the day I was rolled down to the OR with an entire staff of nurses standing smiling, sending me off as I felt it then, that they were as sad to leave me as I was to leave them. They were all so excellent it would be unfair of me to name, names but I might just have to. There was the boss. And I think it was all a reflection of her and the people she hired that made that place home away from home for far too long, and made me far too comfortable being there that long. Then there were those that made me instantly a family member and welcomed me into their life whether it was bringing me food or penis shaped straws as parts of their bachelorette night I was in with these folks and we were never getting rid of each other. A special thanks must go out to Sebby, Michelle M., Brenda, Kim, Swills, Smelly, Terror, Stinkin, Nucci, Kare, Azzy, Parker, Jason, Lauren, Kellie, Jess, La Sapa, Ben, Carter, Hollywood and even those that i didn’t grow as close to just because we werent together so much you still all had the same amazing and powerful effect on me and gosh I know I shouldn’t list because I know ill forget someone and they might be hurt but these people are special, so special they are best damn nursing staff ever assembled and someone needs to let the world know. Call me Samuel L. Jackson and these are my avengers. There is just one though. And oh she was a special one and the whole damn staff knew it. I don’t know how we clicked so well and so fast but we were meant to be friends even if I never walked into that ICU. Again it is something about where you form a bond that changes things and that has to do with this friendship. I need to say Thank you steph k. I need to thank you for the rest of my life if I can. Your compassion, attitude, willingness to adapt and every other freaking quality you have made me the amazing patient that you all claim I was. I made it through this because of everyone else I listed that will never change, but when all was lost and I needed a rock, I found a damn awesome harry potter watching, sushi eating best friend rock in you. I love you and you know it as I will tell you often and it is blog worthy as well. No panties in a bunch here though folks just a deep seeded best friend love that is special…still a one woman man let’s keep that clear. Don’t want any ideas spiraling from my past confident lady killer blogs I may have posted.
Ok moving on, so finally I sit I know ill add more to this because there is never enough thanks to hand out to the doctors, other nursing staffs, all my close friends that I love so much and every other amazing person that has come to bless my life over these months and soon to be years of this journey. It was an amazing ride, one that I never wish to ride again, but I do know I am a better man now for it. I move forward now to new goals and can’t wait to let this heart keep me chugging along the path. I do have some sweet blogs that will come soon about being home and what not and now I have toxic poop or something like that so feel free to check back, because although you can take the man out of the penthouse you can’t take the penthouse out of the man.

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  6. xsimplifyingmymindx said: You are AMAZING!
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